“Every two weeks I need to sand down my toe nails. They’re too strong for clippers.” -Ron Swanson
”My first ex-wife’s name is Tammy, my second ex-wife’s name is Tammy. My Mom’s name is Tamara… she goes by Tammy” -Ron Swanson
”I hope the rest of your day is cool beans.” -Ron Swanson
”I have cried twice in my life. Once when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li’l Sebastian had passed.” -Ron Swanson
”Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards.” -Ron SwansonChris: Have you ever tried a turkey burger?
Ron: Is that a fried turkey leg inside a grilled hamburger? If so, yes, delicious.
“Fishing. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.” -Ron Swanson
” I don’t hold hands.” -Ron Swanson
